Brief Encounter-made in W1 Tuesday, 13 May, 2008

I love working in London W1. Ever so posh. Just an hour ago, I popped out for some lunch and walked in straight in front of a camera. Phil Tufnell was reporting on a new event happening nearby. Probably for the BBC ONE Show. I don’t know. Well, we said ‘hello.’ Can I say he is such a nice guy in da flesh as he is on telly? Yeah, he really is. Not that he is the first - or probably the last - famous people I have seen in W1. Ohhh nooo. In no particular order, Prince Charles, Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen, Giorgio Armani, Richard Gere (my God, gorgeous), Keanu Reeves, Gordon Ramsay (so hot) and several journalists, policitians and TV presenters. Phil’s hello almost make up for my Black Monday. Or actually, it does make up, let’s be generous here. He is Mr Nice Guy, after all. The only dowside of these encounters is that you can’t ask for autographs or a photo snapping (is this too chav, hey?). They are all surrounded by an army that keeps people like me at bay. (No Madam, you can’t kiss Gordon Ramsay, no way), (Mr Gere is not available for pictures right now). Ah well, I have to be content with admiring them, close up or from a distance. No touching. In the case of Prince Charles, I consider this to be a blessing. No offence hey, but the man doesn’t exactly enthuse passion. Not to me anyway. Still, I haven’t yet given up on the idea that one day I’ll catch Gordon Ramsay by surprise and steal a kiss. Have to jump from behind though, which is not easy. This needs more planning, I suppose. Right, back to work. Day dreaming, not about Phil Tufnell (hello mate), but about grabbing Gordon Ramsay and…

Black monday Monday, 12 May, 2008

Good morning? Don’t you dare! I hate mondays, I really do. To top it all off, I come in to work, check my emails and bang. Several stupid emails from several stupid middle/top managers. We have a deadline ( a week from today), I am on holidays from Wed 14 to Tue 20 and I am trying to get things done and what do they say: ‘Oh, we don’t like the faint blue line you put on that postcard’, ‘Can we not think about a different concept for the image?‘ or - wait for it - ‘Can we not organize a photo shoot, do we have time?’ - ARRGGGHHHH, no, we don’t have time to hire a model for a photo shoot, no, we can’t change the image and as for the faint blue line, live with it, alright? I still have to understand why some people get paid 50K+ to come up with such crap. Where have I gone wrong all these years? I mean, it’s different now. I have my own business and other plans, but can you believe there are people out there getting paid loads - yes, loads - to say such things??? They are not politicians either. I could understand if they were, but no. These are average people in average jobs with over inflated salaries.  Do you think I need a coffee? I think I need a coffee. Black, strong and lots of it. As for mondays, this is going to be a long, long one. I hate mondays.

it’s a berry thing Sunday, 11 May, 2008

Got up late. Bit of a hangover. Drank my pint of black coffee and decided that the fight vs Belly had to continue. Low fat yogurt it is then. Packs of summer fruits yogurts which read:

• Rasperry
• Strawberry
• Senga strawberry (???)
• Rasperry and loganberry (???)
• Strawberry and rasperry
• Heritage rasperry…do they go back to Henry VIII??? what’s this??? Never heard of Heritage summer fruits. Oh well.

I don’t want to take any risk, my head is pounding, so strawberry it is then. Safe bet. But I can’t resist to try the Heritage rasperry. Really can’t. Yummm. Actually, I can’t tell the difference between the Heritage and the normal variety. Is this the Michelin’s of rasperry? And what’s this on the pot? Ah, good marketing s**t. It says: FABULOUS low fat yogurt. I am not sure what to think of that. So, all the other varieties of yogurt that they sell are not good? Not fabulous, sorry, just your average day-yogurt. Eat me if you want. Who comes up with these straplines? For the record, the two yogurts were very bland. They tasted of the fruit they were supposed to taste, which is a start, but they were everything except fabulous. Low fat yogurts, never again. Fabulous or not, you’ll be staying on the shelves as far as I am concerned. Ohhhhh bitchy today, blame the drinking [last night]. I should go to the gym. I won’t. I don’t have enough energy to shift my bum off the sofa. I can barely type. Not good at handling hangovers as I used to be. Or maybe the fabulous yogurt is to blame. Not enough fabulous. I have been conned and I want my money back. Off to the supermarket to get my 50p refund. It’s the little things that count in life.

Tale of a dragon Friday, 9 May, 2008

Dealing with international business is never easy. If I needed confirmation that cultural differences do matter, here’s what happened today.

I decided to contact someone (anyone) at a Chinese Government Agency for a business enquiry I had. Having identified a number of agencies based in the U.K. I checked their sites for relevant details.

Agency One: sorry can’t help. OK.

Agency Two: sorry not available right now. Fine.

Agency Three: a list of relevant contacts/emails. Oh good. Off I go, sending that email. Apparently I had to contact Mr Y. He replied he couldn’t help, but would I try his colleague? Email again. Same outcome. This went on for about all the names listed on their site.

So, being so clever, I contacted their U.K. equivalent.

‘Oh yes, we can help‘ [nice English lady on the phone]; ‘You need to send an email to Mr Y’

Fulgora: ‘No, I am sorry, he said he can’t help me’

Lady: ‘Oh but he is our contact, if he can’t help, we can’t neither; I suggest you call him and try again; he is the right person for your query’

Very well. I called Mr Y. ‘Hello, my name is etc etc, my business etc etc, my query etc etc’

Mr Y: ‘Ah yes, you emailed me. Yes, I can help. I’ll pass you over to my secretary’

Fulgora is a bit confused.

Secretary: ‘Hello, I am Mr Y’s secretary, I can help’ [Dear God, she can help]

‘Hello, yes, I was talking to Mr Y about etc etc’

5 minutes later, the secretary:

‘Yes, I understand. Good, very good, yes we can help. But Mr Y is very busy at the moment, give me your telephone number and I ask him to call you back.’

I must admit, at this stage, I don’t have high hopes that Mr Y will ever call me. Don’t know why, instint I suppose.

good to talk to myself Thursday, 8 May, 2008

Let me ask you something: why you visit my blog and don’t leave any comment? I know this because of web stats. People - you - are reading this and yet, leave [almost] without a trace. Something is bothering you? Don’t you like the way I write or is it something more serious than that? And more importantly, will I ever find out? So much for having an interactive blog. More a monologue. Still, not to worry, I’ll persist in this venture for now and keep going. I am positive that [good] changes will occur, sooner or later (and there she was, telling her grandchildren in 2030 how blogs were ‘in her days…’). As an act of revenge, tonight I am going to a pub, where people talk to me. Failing that, there is always someone behind the bar I can pester. So, are you coming out or what?